Pushing Buttons

The bf and I got a good lesson in button-pushing today. I mean that figuratively, of course.

I've always had an issue with anger. I know that anger is not a bad thing, it's actually good to get angry. Anger can become bad, though, when you express it negatively. Such as getting physical, consistent yelling, name calling, etc. I always tend to venture towards these negative expressions of anger. All of a sudden, my feelings mean everything and the other person's mean nothing. Therefore I can say and do whatever I want.

It becomes even worse when the person you're fighting with knows exactly what buttons to push to get a rise out of you, and visa versa. It's almost as if you want to fight. This, in turn, becomes a major problem. Words get said, things get broken, people get hit... at least in my case.

It's not healthy to react in those ways. I know this. And it's something I've struggled with since I can remember. Today's "tiff" with the bf showed me that I still haven't got control of my anger - and neither does he (to an extent). But relationships are all about making mistakes and learning from them, and growing together as a couple. I'm going to use today's actions as a starting point for change. Time to move in the right direction and learn new ways to express my anger. No better time like the present, right?