Stressssed

Today was Bryanna's 11-month birthday. I've said it before, and I will say it again. I can't believe she is turning 1 year old in just one month! It's just way too crazy for me to handle. We're getting the party plans going. Invites should be out by the end of the week for sure. You can view the fun facts about her on the blog I have her. It's pretty cool stuff.

But even though today was a very happy day (because Bryanna is yet another month older), it was very stressful for me. I don't know what is going on, but I was freaking out over every little thing. The morning was fine, work was fine, the ride home was fine. But after that it just went downhill. Me and the babe got home and played for a little a while. I messed around online for a little bit. (Had to catch up on the soaps I missed last week and yesterday). Then she got hungry so I was trying to feed her broccoli and cereal. I am well aware that broccoli is def not her fave thing to eat. So I was scooping some broccoli on the spoon and then scooping cereal over it to kind of lessen the taste of the broccoli. She did ok for about 5 bites and then she just wouldn't stop crying. She wasn't screaming or anything, but there were tears and whines. She wouldn't swallow the bite I had just given her and I couldn't figure out why. I was getting so frustrated at that point. I didn't yell at her (she's 11 months old, that wouldn't do any good even if she did understand), but I did raise my voice. Not because I was mad at her, but because I didn't know what she wanted. She was hungry, but didn't want to take a bite and wouldn't swallow her last one. Then I realized that there was a chunk (not a very large chunk, but a chunk) of broccoli in the side of her mouth that she didn't want to swallow (and neither would I). I've been pureeing my own food to save a little money so that explains the chunk. So I took the chunk out of her mouth and forced a bite of cereal into her mouth. She then realized that it was not broccoli I was feeding her anymore and started eating just fine. But at that point I had already tossed out the broccoli thinking that she just didn't want to eat it, but really she just wanted me to get the chunk out of her mouth. So of course I was obsessing over the food I just wasted. The rest of the feeding was still just as frustrating, but I won't go into detail. I was so wound up from being frustrated over the feeding that I started getting anxious (me + anxious = not good). The kitchen looked filthy, dishes needed to be done, the floor was gross and needed to be swept, the bathroom was cluttered and dirty, the laundry was piling up, the baby's room was messy, etc., etc. So I went on a mini cleaning spree. Bathroom? Done. Kitchen floor swept? Done. Living room picked up and vacuumed? Done. Load of laundry in the wash? Done. I was in the zone. I feel really bad about my behavior with Bryanna while feeding her. I once read on a friends blog (I think) that after a frustrating day with your child, just go watch them sleep. Which is exactly what I am going to do right now. Tomorrow will be better.